A gay travel writer explores life in Palm Springs buck naked.
RuPaul stop each episode asking , “ If you do n’t be intimate yourself , how in the hell on earth are you going to love somebody else ? ”
The thought is lovely in theory , but a shade starry - eyed for a residential district that notoriously holds ourselves to unrealistic soundbox standards . Many of us gay valet de chambre run to idol - worship six packs , turkey leg - shaped quads , and other strong-arm characteristics that are , honestly , not a representation of what ’s actuallly come-at-able for most ( especially without steroids ) . And many of us even go so far as to lay claim not - out ( and maybe not - even - mirthful ) celebrities like Shawn Mendes as one of our own because being “ just too pretty and perfect ” can only mean one matter : He has to be jocund — no ifs , ands , or buts . ( Okay , well , maybe butts . But only if they ’re perky . )
The act oftrulyloving yourself is know every in of you , and not just the raw and genuine personality that you ’ve live out of your way to cultivate over the eld . Like many gay men , I ’ve struggled to swallow this notion for quite some metre , dismissing body insecurity as irrelevant , so long as I make up for it by being humorous , excelling in my career , or prioritise friendships .
Conquering fears, one thong at a time.|Oliver Byunggyu Woo/EyeEm/Getty Images
It may sound cliché , but as a latterly turned 35 twelvemonth - quondam , I ascertain something had to change and it had to change now . So I decided to bare it all .
Going au naturel
My timidity over my naked ego undoubtedly staunch from this uncouth notion that the amalgamation of my flesh and bones just is n’t enough . On some days , I go full yas - queen , flash in the mirror and admire the cast of my derriere and nether regions . But still , other time I can randomly waken up feeling like my body theatrical role were pieced together with masking tapeline and trash find from the Staten Island dump .
What ’s off-the-wall and somewhat ironic is that I do n’t judge other people ’s bodies the direction I do my own . I ’ve go out and loved many men with far - from - perfect figures . Society has essentially program us to imagine that the great unwashed who do n’t fit the Avengers superhero mould are “ less than , ” but my realism is that I incur strength in seeing body - confident celebrities like Lizzo break the norm and show that they ’re more than enough . And yet , I still have trouble applying this school of thought to my own life .
Nobody really has to give two dogshit about the way you look when at your most vulnerable .
So in a heroic endeavor to defeat this nudity phobia and perhaps barrack myself with Lizzo - like brave men who can take the air out with their hammer out and give zero ass , I spent a week in sunnyPalm Springsto galavant around two of their most famous clothing - optional refuge : DescansoandINNdulge .
Too much shame in my game
Upon arriving to Descanso , I was greeted by homo going au naturel and relishing the desert sun underneath the attribute ’s intertwine palm tree .
Fear and discomfort immediately consumed me and I attempted to camouflage myself in a far corner with a laptop and a mission to do work . But of course , as the only one wearing swim short pants , I stood out like a sore thumb . A naked me would be like Adam in the Garden of Eden , but after the whole shame thing hits . Except I would n’t be reckon for a Libyan Fighting Group leaf to achieve modesty . Instead , I ’d be wrapping a damn Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree around my junk and creeping back into the dense foliation to be with the butterfly ( and by from Eve , obvi ) .
When it came to dropping trou , daylight one was a complete wash . And not one in the outdoor shower where gayly naked and carefree men thrived as I noshed on a granola bar from the lounge in my air - conditioned room .
Who, me? Squeamish?|Fernando Trabanco Fotografía/Moment/Getty Images
Nude is the mood
Day two started the same manner twenty-four hour period one end : uncomfortable . While I had a busy eight hour of exploring Palm Springs ( more on my favorite places and action below ! ) , my brief ( pun intended ) moments at the pool were adorned with a Speedo and an ill at ease half - grin .
But later that night : a discovery . And it was n’t just the result of liquid bravery . It came in the manikin of a painfully cute boy who I ogle in the beginning in the day . This guy simply have every curve and cleft of his consistence and with an air of self-confidence ( but not arrogance ! ) that I envied oh - so - much .
“ Why are you wear off that ? ” he boldly asked about my bathing costume as we sat together in the blistering tubful .
The author arrives at his first nudist resort.|Photo courtesy of Joey Skladany
“ I guess I do n’t have to , ” I replied , slide it off moderately flirtatiously and plop it on the land nearby . I almost feel like a fraud , dissemble as if I was on his level of self - confidence and had been this way my entire life sentence .
This is what Pride month is really all about … a celebration of our community and the masses in it , all bod and size .
The reality , of class , was that I was n’t . But I will tell you that in that moment , no matter how insignificant it may seem , I matte completely emancipated . It was just a consistence . It was just a penis . He had one , I had one . There was no pity .
No shame here at Descanso.|Descanso Resort Palm Springs
Whether or not we hooked up is for a unlike story , but I was in shock at how quickly one bold , round-eyed move could totally murder a mental block I ’ve possessed for as long as I can think of . Sometimes you just have to lean into the discomfort of a site to bear a with child reward . And not only did I be given in , I went balls to the red-hot tub rampart and just accepted it .
Am I a nudist now?
After provide Descanso a couple of days later , I checked into INNdulge , another article of clothing - optional holiday resort with a similar vibe , but a completely different setting . Unlike Descanso , INNdulge is n’t canopied by trees . Instead , its oversized consortium is the heart and soul of the complex and swells with outgoing and gregarious gay men from all walk of life .
That dark , the suit follow off again , as did any traces of day one ’s inhibition . In fact , every insecurity dissipated . It was like I was the hare come up out of a magician ’s blackened top hat , shocking even myself with the sudden transition .
Being join by other naked man put us all on an even playing field . We sat around , we rap back drink , and we shared stories about our liveliness experience . And then it all seemed to sink in : This is what Pride month is really all about … a celebration of our residential area and the masses in it , all shapes and sizing , who have , despite the odds , found comfortableness in being unabashedly and brazenly themselves in their saturated form .
You can choose clothes or not at INNdulge.|INNdulge Palm Springs
Flourish in the exemption of basking in the body that God , the universe , Buddha , Beyoncé , a pack of cell , or whatever immortal you believe in give them .
Of of course we are all draw to different body types , especially of the chisel sort that takes voiceless work to attain , and there is a storey of voyeurism to nude resort that can discourage even the most body confident people . But ultimately I reach a peace of judgement where I did n’t care about the means I seem or how others comprehend me . And to reach this state of matter — quite literally the opposite of how I ’ve lived my life up to that period — result in unadulterated bliss .
Descanso and INNdulge do n’t just exist for the excitement and thrill of being naked , but for the conservation and custom of this musical theme that nobody really has to give two shit about the mode you look when at your most vulnerable . They ’re good havens for men who likely grow up feeling judged , ostracized , and less than , only to now flourish in the exemption of basking in the trunk that God , the universe , Buddha , Beyoncé , a clique of cadre , or whatever deity you believe in give them .
Everyone can bare it all in Palm Springs.|Noah Sauve/Shutterstock
So if I can offer up one piece of advice for anyone cable like me : Take the peril , bank the process , and savor the advantage . You ’ll certainly be beaming you did .
Where to go when the clothes come back on
As a travel writer , I ’d be delinquent to not proffer recommendations in Palm Springs when the wearing apparel add up back on , as either a gay man or someone looking to be flash and majestic no matter who you are . Because it turn out , Palm Springs is the perfect place for someone calculate to say “ eff it , I am who I am . ” The slaphappy nature of the area ’s resorts trickles into every business with chefs and entrepreneurs focusing solely on their craft and heat and less on the noise or the relentless attempt to impress other people . This bare - it - all mental attitude really does shine , which is why it ’s unsurprising that Palm Springs has become such a pop retreat goal .
So fave spots ? Food and drink - wise , Palm Springs offers some of the most memorable I ’ve had this year and rivaled — dare I say it — nearby Los Angeles in overall gustation and quality . Brunch - goers will revel inFarm ’s rich offering of omelets with homemade dinero and jamming orCheeky ’s telling business line - up of Southwestern - exalt dishes like chilaquiles , huevos rancheros , and summer squash sopes with spicy tomatillos .
You ’ll also want to take advantage of the desert city ’s flora and beast by booking a hike throughRed Jeep Tour , which is n’t just a beautiful reprieve from the fuss and bustle from downtown , but an educational one . With enthusiastic and well - travel John as our guide , we determine everything about the area , from its native and expand Amerindic civilization to the subspecies of spiky desert plants that I ’m eyeing to pot and display in my flat .
For a more manicured look at nature , speculation to theworld ’s largest rotating aerial tram carwhere the 20 - degree drop in temperature at its prime will render a much - needed respite from swelter warmth . The summit also bid arresting , bird’s-eye view to cue you that Palm Springs is , indeed , almost intimidatingly hilly . you’re able to even tell apart the iconicAce Hotel , where you could book a much - deserve treatment atFeel Good Spaonce you get back down .
For other meals and drinks , you must n’t pass up the overloaded rag - pan nachos atBlackbook , the trio of Asian - tempt crudos at frump - friendlyBoozehounds , and the Nashville raging chicken - urge fry oyster mushroom atWorkshop Kitchen Bar(served with pickle and buttered pledge to keep things additional authentic ) . The Vietnamese food atRooster and the Pigis also a star , with lines constitute before its 5 pm possibility time for a hazard to nosh on umami - packed odoriferous Irish potato noodles and a chicken - stuffed curry ballock swimming in spicy Basil of Caesarea .
Or you could revel your repast with a side of amusement . Asia SF Palm Springsbrings the house down with a high-pitched - tech backtalk sync extravaganza featuring only transgender performers , while thePalm Springs Cultural Centeroffers Tuesday malarkey nights with bit that could well be on Broadway and Gallic Fry that give McDonald ’s ( the best of the secure ) a run for its money .
Cap your even with a smart libation or three from trendy1501 Uptown GastropuborEight4Nine Restaurant & Lounge , which comprise local citrus tree and herbs into their crapulence .
And if you ’re hunting for the perfect outfit for non - nakie times , a stop atDestination PSPis an infrangible must with one - of - a - kind , retro - inspired designs in home goods , swimwear , and clothing that will , frankly , make you want you to reconsider wearing nothing for the hebdomad .
