Suffering from ornithophobia means I can’t visit certain tourist hotspots. But I’ve found some workarounds.
pigeon are arrogant . Not as chesty as sea gull and not as aggressive either , but still . They just do whatever they require , especially in Europe .
Say a person is trying to eat oysters with all the Gallic mass at Les Halles in thesouth of Franceon a sunny Sunday afternoon . And that person has a serious problem with pigeons but really wants to also be the form of person who eats outside on a sunny Sunday afternoon in the south of France . The pigeon will not have to pay for such an experience but will assert on inviting themselves anyhow , cooing and pick underneath the tables .
I will be too embarrassed to tell people , “ Hey , can you not ever stand up from your mesa or drip any food lest a pigeon encroachment occur ? ” like I might at home . So instead I ’ll sit there with my heart pounding in my throat as I hazard to enjoy this meal like everyone else . At least until the charwoman sit near to me in a voguish sweater lazily tosses the last of her frites onto the dry land beside her . That ’s when I ’ll nearly upend my table as I flee .
martinedoucet/E+/Getty Images
This is not who I wanted to be when I first started travel , but my fear of birds is somewhat of a curse .
I was five days former when I watched two gull pluck a babe duck’s egg asunder .
And as you might imagine , I’vestruggled with ornithophobia , or an uttermost fear of skirt , ever since . These days , I ’m mostly afraid of birds who are not afraid of go up people , like gull , pigeons , Canadian goofball , and crows . seemingly I ’m not alone , either . On a recent call , clinical hypnotherapist Racheal Eccles told me about a customer she had a few year back who was so terrified of a bird embark his sign that he would keep doors and windows shut during the hottest calendar month of summer . He was also afraid of receive a utter shuttle , so he avoided countryside locating where he felt it was more likely .
Even in relatively bird-free corners of the world, it’s hard to avoid pigeons entirely.|aire images/Moment/Getty Images
I panic if I ’m in a crowded blank with birds that await like they might take trajectory — even a seagull inside an outside marquee is enough to have me looking for corners to hide in . Medication does n’t work , though therapy has learn me that my phobia is really a fear of the strange . I can somewhat control my environment at home , but things get more dicey once I venture outside . To adapt , I ’ve had to evolve an elaborate set of rules that all my Quaker and family members must follow in orderliness for us to advert out . For instance , no one is let to eat on the beach near me . Outdoor picnics involve establishing a perimeter around our area and eating under a tent to debar pigeon . There are no exception to these parameters , either . My relationships have suffered as a result ; I once broke up with a very dainty fellow when I recover out he had a pet parakeet who flew freely about his flat .
thing get even dicier when I go and ca n’t carefully curate my surroundings . I ’ve accept that I ’ll probably never visit Saint Mark ’s Square in Venice , which has been identify as “ a scene straight out of Alfred Hitchcock’sspine - tinglerThe Birds . ” And because I ca n’t tell strangers not to eat , I merely stay away from crowded tourist areas at repast meter . Instead , I eat inside or I check out little shops while everyone else is dining . I observe boulangeries to purchase my lucre where they do n’t permit pigeons to walk around inside . But even when I ’m there , I ’m eagle - eyeball the robotic door to check that no chick are sneaking in .
Some scenario are n’t so sinister - and - whitened . Birds trip the light fantastic toe down the sidewalk in front of the Colosseum in Rome like they own the place . They take flight of stairs bare inch from my face as I take the air through the Christmas markets of Vienna , where I startle and squall and grab at the two nigh footer . ( In this case both men , both horror-struck , both alien . ) I explain myself , of grade I do , but in general speaking it ’s too deep . I ’ve start these people like the dame always start me ; I ’ve become what I detest .
St. Mark’s Square in Venice is a no-go for people with an extreme fear of birds.|Glowimages/Getty Images
No one really get it . Even when I explain “ I ’m frightened of birds ” in Italian or French or German , the first prison term I learn wherever I visit , I ’m met with skepticism . “ These birds do n’t desire to kill you , ” I ’m order as though I ’m an changeling . “ These shuttle are very aristocratic . ” Whoever is out in these street doing pigeon PR needs a raise because candidly , no one will hear a Word of God against
Except , of row , my fellow ornithophobes . Like my friend Ellen , who asked to habituate a pseudonym for fear that she wo n’t get any future dinner invitation . The first nighttime we got to know each other , at a neighborhood bonfire , her husband nonchalantly mention there was a turkey piranha in the vicinity . We both screamed , locked eyes , and understood that we were fellow travelers — or at least traveller who both rate urban center based on skirt universe .
After exchanging notes , I was heartened to acquire that Ellen only saw six pigeons on a recent visit to Barcelona . And I was glad to give Copenhagen a revenue stamp of approval and pass along that Marrakech was a real surprise except for a singular surreptitious peacock . We concur that Rome , Paris , and London are all best meant to be enjoyed indoors . Ellen even told me that she and her now - married man went on a romantic trip to Paris but never once eat up out of doors during the day because of the pigeons . gratefully , Paris is very beautiful at night with the Eiffel Tower all alight up , and her hubby is an understanding guy cable .
The author is able to eat outside at cafés, with some caveats.|Photo courtesy of Jen McGuire
My own partner has become my safe space in a Earth of irregular winged creatures . He is the reasonableness why I was capable to wheel along the still backroads to Châteauneuf - du - Pape , riding “ side - bicycle seat , ” as he calls it . He protect my wing by riding between myself and the birds as he gently nudge them out of my path so we can continue our meandering path through the vinery . He gamely crosses the street to avoid groups of pigeons without even think about it .
Best of all , he sit with me at a pavement cafe in the seaside town of Cassis . In the midsection of the 24-hour interval , no less . Eating seafood with one eye on me and one trained on the ground for wayward pigeons or seagull . I eat on in the sun , among the locals . A cleaning woman at the next table don a chic sweater leaned over and asked me how I liked my calamari . In French !
This was who I wanted to be abroad . The kind of someone who could deep breathe my way of life around the pigeon dread . I will never give up traveling for the shuttle just as they ’ll never give up existing for me . I ’ll just keep choosing my traveling partners based on their boo - knowingness , wipe out al fresco at nighttime when I ’m unaccompanied traveling , and doing my best to puzzle out around my paralyze reverence of birds .
Take that , pigeon .
