The euphemism might be outdated, but on board the ship, queer meetups are very much alive.
“ Oh , and if you see a ‘ Friends of Dorothy ’ meeting listed in the newssheet , it ’s actually Alcoholics Anonymous . ”
This curious piece of music of advice was issued to me and my married woman Emily by a friendlyMichigandernamed Lee while we sit with our gin and tonics at the open - gentle wind saloon on the upmost deck of theNorwegian Spirit . TheAlaska - bound shipwas docked at its launching interface in Vancouver and , finding our cabin was n’t quite ready upon boarding , we cheat on up to Waves Pool Bar to kill some time .
“ I do n’t know why , ” Lee continued between powderpuff on hervape pen . “ But if you see that , you ’ll know not to go . It ’s that direction on all the ships . ”
Just follow the yellow brick road.|AFP/Stringer/DDP/Getty Images
The statement stuck with me as we later filed down the stairs and into our freshly made - up node elbow room . I had only ever try “ Friends of Dorothy ” used as a euphemism for mirthful people , an court to the fabulously campy world oftheWizard of Oz . So what would make the sail manufacture collectively decide that the condition was also a gravid codification for recovering dipsomaniac ? No contempt to Lee and her wide berth of maritime experience , but something felt off here .
Preliminary research confirmed my hunch . In twelvemonth by , a Friends of Dorothy meeting was cruise lingo for an unionize gathering ofLGBTQ+passengers . Sometimes they were hosted by fellow member of the stave , other times they bechance as freewheeling affairs , but they were typically hold in modest bar or other assemblage piazza onboard as part of the unconstipated computer programing . These meetups were listed alongside events like taphouse trivia , artistic creation auctions , ping pong tourney , and , yes , Friends of Bill W. meetings — a.k.a . theactualAlcoholics Anonymous chemical group , list after AA co - founder Bill Wilson .
Of course , my wife and I immediately scoured the “ Freestyle Daily ” left on our neatly dressed dual bed ( originally two singles relate upon request ) for an coming Friends of Dorothy stamping ground . Ol’ Bill W. was there , exonerated as daytime at 7 postmortem in the Spinnaker Lounge , but Dorothy was nowhere to be found . She had , it seemed , been switch out for the much more lineal LGBTQIA+ Get Together , held that evening at 8 pm at the Social Club .
“ Who do you intend goes to these things ? ” I wondered loud . I ’ve never been much of a joiner , and while I whole - heartedly apprize faggot blank , I ’m not sure I ’d normally reach up a chemical group full of gay strangers just for the fun of it . Hell , I barely go togay bars . “ Do you think anybody actually shows up ? ”
“ Only one way to retrieve out , ” Emily said . Our evening plans were place .
The history of queer cruise meetups
Back then , seeing this language on sail computer programming was much more usual . It provide those in the know with a feeling of self - extract and namelessness while also guarantee that unfamiliar or even potentially unfriendly guests steered clear of the effect . However , as time progressed , the euphemism not only outgrew its societal essential but also became a hitch to non - aboriginal English speaker system .
“ I remember 13 years ago when I start cruise , it was still named Friends of Dorothy , and actually , I did n’t know what it was,”Norwegian Spirit sail director Gerardo “ Jerry ” De La Conchatold me during an onboard audience . “ It was just something that the biotic community would fuck . But people from other countries , let ’s say Mexico , would say , ‘ I ’ve never hear Friend of Dorothy , but I ’ve hear LGBTQ . ’ So probably in my 2nd or third year , that ’s when I started hearing LGBTQ more . ”
Now , the LGBTQ meetups are par for the course of action . “ Every single ship that we have , we always provide a LGBTQ+ assembly , ” continued De La Concha .
All aboard the queer cruise express.|IGLTA
But as De La Concha describe it , there ’s really no way to predict whether or not an LGBTQ+ mixer will take off or flop , which is why they often represent them in some of a ship ’s small bars or lounges . But when one does come out off , the resulting comradery can make for a trip to think of .
“ I think back in theNorwegian Epic , there was a really nerveless radical , and I became acquaintance with them , ” De La Concha says . “ It started small and then more people showed up and it was packed , about 40 people . So we moved it from wherever it was , a random bar with not a great space , to a locale called the Cavern Club and we used to provide them with Champagne . It was also Thanksgiving , and one of the eating place had an extra part that was a little bit cloistered . So we closed that off and did a Thanksgiving dinner with them there — it was a lot of merriment . ”
While some cruise companies still use the nomenclature — perhaps as a nod to their older - skewing clientele — it ’s rare to see Friends of Dorothy listed on a everyday bulletin these days . alternatively , LGBTQ+ meetups are proudly announced in good order there on the page ( AA meetings , it should be observe , still keep a low profile ) .
The ship provides a venue and some booze, the rest takes care of itself.|Norwegian Cruise Line
If meetups aren’t enough, consider booking a LGBTQ+ cruise
As De La Concha puts it , “ Cruising has always been top-notch gay - well-disposed . ” So friendly , in fact , an entire subset of the diligence is give to LGBTQ+ cruise . Whether they ’re massive ocean liners or knowledgeable river vessel , chartered from mainstream company or wholly queer - focus , everyone on board these voyages identifies with some slope of the rainbow .
A queer travel timelinepublished by the International Gay and Lesbian Travel Association ( IGLTA ) traces LGBTQ+ cruise back to the other 1970s , when Hanns Ebensten , often credit as the father of gay travel , lead a party of festive homo on a tour down theColorado River . His previous tour had been dominated by heterosexual families—“children crying , ‘ Mommy , when are we going to have lunch ? ’ ; cross old ladies ; and men who were often drunk , ” he remarked in a 2004 IGLTA conventionality speech . Unsatisfied with that head trip , he decided to tack it up by alternatively inviting onboard “ a radical of congenial men . ” And so , the first gay ship arrange sail .
The market blossomed . In 1985 , IGLTA founding extremity Kevin Mossier launchedRSVP Vacations , the human beings ’s first all - gay cruise caller . Five year by and by , Olivia Records ’ Judy Dlugaczchartered a 600 - rider ship from the late Dolphin Cruise Lines , stock it full of lesbians , and position off on a four - nighttime journeying to the Bahamas . But it was n’t all bronzed torso , booze , and raucous kitty party ( though there was also plenty of that ) . As generations of LGBTQ+ people achieved increase social and legal acceptance , a fresh demographic arrived at the shore of the cruise industriousness : queer kin .
On an all-LGBTQ+ cruise, everyone’s a friend of Dorothy.|RSVP Vacations
Enter Gregg Kaminsky and Kelli Carpenter . Along with worker , and Carpenter ’s ex - wife , Rosie O’Donnell , the span startedR Family Vacations , the first - ever cruise company take aim at LGBTQ+ syndicate , in 2003 . Over the twelvemonth , R Family has worked with several unlike major sail line to produce their fleet of LGBTQ+ oblation , including Norwegian and , most recently , Uniworld Boutique River Cruises .
Because they operate smaller vessels , Uniworldis a particularly attractive option for queer travelers concerned in spring tight connections within their float community . “ Our ships average out at 120 guests , and many LGBTQ+ travelers appreciate the intimate experience and simpleness of making protagonist with others onboard , ” says Uniworld CEO and president Ellen Bettridge . “ One matter that all cruisers and traveler in worldwide have in common is that they ’re looking to see the world and make lifelong memories free of discrimination . ”
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Tequila shots, epic hikes, and fast friends
Back on plank the Norwegian Spirit , Emily and I ate a quick dinner in the self - serve Garden Cafe before heading down to Social Club for that evening ’s much - prognosticate LGBTQ+ sociable . The venue , a affectionate space with plush velvet seating area , Art Deco - expressive style light fixity , and a shamrock - common trimming , sat in the belly of the ship on Deck 7 , just beyond the not - yet - buzzing casino floor . When we arrived , fashionably late at around 8:15 , two older men were baby-sit at the modest , sleek bar , quietly sipping their drunkenness . A set of girls , probably in their tardy twenty or other XXX and both new - faced with flow locks , perched at a two - top in the far corner . No one was speaking .
We strode up to the bar , grab two stools , and ordered a couple of martini . “ Do you think anyone is here for the mixer ? ” I asked in a near - whispering .
As if on pool stick , one of the girls walked over and smile . “ You bozo here for the LGBTQ affair ? ”
The first all-lesbian Olivia Cruise set sail in 1990.|Olivia Travel
An hour later and we were several tequila shots deep , laughing and jest with our fellow cruiser . A gay match in their mid-20s , all shy smiles and warm handshakes , unite the chemical group , as did an enthusiastic young solo traveller from Texas . The two older gentleman down the bar had turned their throne to look our little circle , telling us about their many yr of cruise adventure — they had just returned from a 21 - 24-hour interval transatlantic voyage — while the other two twain chitchat about the queer prospect back home ( both pairs happened to be fromSt . Louis , go figure ) .
Cruises are a quite a little like summer camp , except with unlimited alcohol . You make loyal friends and before you know it , you ’re verbalise late into the dark , saving seats for each other at the Broadway Review , pore over Bingo cards and poster games , and tagging along on each others ’ shoring excursions .
At embrasure inSkagwaysome mean solar day after , the St. Louis couples lead us on awhopper of a hikethat followed an old irrigation system up to a effervescent lake . And on the last night , we all take in a comedy show before recall to the bar for one last troll . The girls request shots — if I learned anything about St. Louisans , it ’s that they love their shot — as the relief of exchanged phone issue and Instagram handles .
“ To the pouf ! ” they pronounce in unison , holding up their shot meth . “ To the fairy ! ” we shouted back , clink our glasses together . rick out Dorothy has some moderately cool friends .
Cruises, it turns out, can be a lot like queer summer camp.|Rosanna U/Image Source/Getty Images
